NEW BLOG !

Ok, I have finally got it up and running (still tweaking the template).....The ~NEW~Personal blog.

Remember when I used to post about errr ummm MYSELF? 

Oh, and my family too!

Well, I.AM.BACK.

No reviews.

No giveaways.

Just me...

and the family

Follow?

www.mynameismomma.com

overheard

"Look!"

"I'm holding this with just 4 fingers and a thumb."

Uh, because....saying "hand"  is like so last week--

I guess?

yeahhhh.....NO

Sorry guys, I woke up with the crud again today.



So I will apologize in advance.
I am definitely not going to be spitting lollipops and tootin' rainbows today.

But
I do have a giveaway scheduled to post later this afternoon.
For

THIS

So, come back later and enter.
Also, next week I will be hosting a series of giveaways.
However, these will only be given away to my "subscribers" and "Google Friend Connect" pals.
It's just my way of saying "THANKS FOR READING!"

BUT
Don't fret.
It's never too late to become one of my pals.
Just subscribe at the top left corner or via google friend connect.

It's de-lurking day

It's that time again.
You came....You saw....
Now be willing to bare it all.
(uh, ok maybe not)
But I do want you to DE-LURK.
Let me know that you were here by leaving your blog link below.

Regulars??
You can leave your links too.
Hip and Happenin' giveaways are welcome but I would love to see what you have been up to.
Got something JUICY?
Leave it.....I'll read those first!

AND

Today is also my HAPPY HAPPY anniversary.
This is our 11th one.
Can you believe that Hunky Hubby has put up with me for this long??
Well, actually he's been putting up with me for 15 years.
(Legally married for 11)
WOW-ZA!
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Have a great weekend!!

H to the E -L-P

Can someone please help me out?
Will you grab your "How to raise a child" handbook??

When you get it out, find the section on "Smart-Mouthed 11 years olds".
Please tell me what it says.

What do I need to do??

The hospital forgot to send a copy of this book home with us.

:Sigh:

T.G.I.F.

(minus one kiddo)


my baby

No...
Really!
She thinks she is a baby.

HookD on Phonics WORKD for MEEE!

UMM HELLO??
My baby ain't NO Einstein.
What's up with that?
HUH?

I went out and bought these dvd's to make my kid smart.
Ya see, Lil BUBBA'S momma (from down the road) talks about him being a genious and stuff.
Ya know,
Lil Bubba can do this....
Lil Bubba can do that...
Heck, I wouldn't about to let Lil Bubba outdo my kid.
We were going to SHOW them.

UH HUH

My baby was gonna be an Einstein.
HELLO?
The dvd had "EINSTEIN" on it.
AND
Einstein was like REAL SMART!!

Bought those dvds
Popped 'em in the dvd player
AND
let them do their job


Of course, I didn't expect anything after day 1 or even day 2 but BOY oh BOY was I excited for day 3.

"Alright baby, show me your SMARTS!" I said
We had ourself a little "lesson" right there in the floor.
yes.we.did.
Of course, I started off with the easy stuff.....
Ya know
Like
Pre-Algebra questions
I was gonna save the Geometry for Day 5.
BUT
We ran into a little problem.
Baby wouldn't tell me the answer.
OK
So maybe Algebra wasn't baby's subject.
We moved on to French.
I asked baby to sing Mary had a little lamb (in french, of course).
Again, NOTHING.

Now....here is when I started to worry.

Would we need to go purchase Baby Einstein for Dummies?


:Sigh:
Then I got word that Baby Einstein dvd's really didn't turn kids into geniuses.
YOU HAD ME FOOLED, BABY EINSTEIN!
BUT
What a relief...
I was thinking my kid was a dummy.

Now I have to go find some other dvd's to make my kid smart.
Suggestions?
I mean, I would teach them myself but I am like SUPER BUSY around here.
I just don't have time for things like that.

@@

^
.
.
.

(that's me rolling my eyes)

I'm curious
How many of you are going to actually get a refund on these dvds?
just-a- wonderin'

(insert something witty here)

T to the I R-E-D
that's me
6 kids in the house

3 of them are not even mine

Yep, I took in another kiddo this week....
3 daycare tykes
+
3 tykes that actually live here
=
6 kids
I think?
I am too frazzled to count.

homeschooling.diaper changing.bottle feeding.sippy cup cleaning.laundry.lunch.snacks
and so on...
IMA frazzled.
IMA zapped.
IMA CRAZY??

bare with me, my pals.
I'll climb my way back up . . .

A NEW routine will be established soon.
I've got posts-a-coming.
Most are done at night now but they are going to be "scheduled".
CUZ
I'm "technical" like that.

IMA USER

I've been wanting some bagels for awhile now.

However, every time I made the grocery list the bagels were never on there.
As in : Momma forgot
But
Momma didn't forget the past week.
I finally got those bagels!
What else was on the list?
CREAM CHEESE, of course.

Get.em...Got.em...Good!
I toasted my bagel and put GOBS and GOBS of cream cheese on it.



mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

or
So I thought.

Those bagels that I had wanted?
Well, I don't want them so much anymore.
The cream cheese....
Yeah, I still want that.
The bagels?
Not so much.

I walk past those bagels daily.
They beg to be eaten (especially before the expiration date).
I just can't.
I don't want them.

Did I use them?
*ashamed*
Did I really just want the cream cheese?
Did I only suggest buying bagels to make myself look better?
I mean, eating cream cheese out of the container would just be wrong, right?
The bagels, Were they just a cover up?

:Sigh:
I must tell the bagels.
I owe them the truth.
I only used them for the cream cheese....

(MUTE) WHAT?? I can't hear you.

Ti-faux (not tivo but the Dish Network version)
Ya know, the fake Tivo?

LOVE IT.

Can't live with out it.

Wouldn't it be cool if humans had features like that?


Fast Forward, maybe?
Yeah
Because Sometimes (Ok all of the time) Big girl spews too many details when she is telling me something.
Like....
"Momma, You know that dog (the one down the street, the black one not the brown one)?"
"Well, he just got in the neighbors (the neighbor that lives across from the man....not the tall skinny man but the round old man) garbage can."
"There are cans (looks like green giant green beans but it could be corn, I am not sure) everywhere."
"Should I go over there and help them pick it up? (Well, not all of it. Just the stuff that will not get on my hands. I don't wanna touch anything gross because I just put lotion on my hands.)
Ya know, the lotion that was in the bathroom cabinet? Not the small bathroom but the other one."

Fast Forward...JUST GET TO THE POINT
in other words: SPIT IT OUT!

A rewind button would come in handy too.
Ya know, to find out WHO REALLY licked that icing off of the cake.
Cuz no one wants to fess up any other way.
Yep, I am still ill over that one.
IT WAS MY CAKE.
GRRR

PAUSE would be good too.
I could finally get my TIME OUT without making my children leave a message after the BEEEEP!
Uh huh, I do that.
When I have had it for the day.....You will get this lil message:
MOMMY IS DONE FOR THE DAY.
PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEEEEEEEP.
DONE as in D-----ONE!

MUTE, Need I say more?
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blahhh blah blah
(mute)






What? I can't hear you.
You have been muted.

.....Dreaming
Oh, and I can almost guarantee that this remote would NEVER be lost. I would tie it around my neck if needed.
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*
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Speaking of fast forwarding:
Does anyone else fast forward through the dying scenes(tv shows)?
Ya know, the ones that take for-ever??
A cough here
A cough there
One last goodbye
Oh, now a vision
Uh-oh here come the bright lights.
NO COME BACK
NO GO.
Another cough.
NOOOOOO
Fast forward....
:Geesh:
Die already.

Am I the only one to do this??
Please tell me I am not.
Should I be ashamed?

and SPIT changes it all

Describe how motherhood has changed you

One word:

Spit

Yep, that's right.
Spit

Me (before motherhood) :
"I will N---E---VER clean my child's face with SPIT."
"N-EEE-VER!"
EWWW!
&
"GROSS!"
&
"NOPE, NOT GONNA DO IT."

Me (during motherhood) :
"Uh-Oh, Here comes Prissy McKPrissy-son and her 2 annoyingly perfect children."
"Kids....Quick! Come here and let me wipe away last night's leftovers."
"Let me grab a Wet-One."

Oh, that's right...
I am one of THOSE MOMS.
Ya know, one of THOSE MOMS that do not carry stuff like that.

"What to do ....What to do.....She will be over here any minute."

1..2..3..

Spit meet face.

I've only done this once.
Ok, MAYBE three times.
BUT
The last two times really didn't count.
I used the kid's spit.
Yep, I am clever like that.
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How has motherhood changed you?
Link up and let us know (or write on any of the other prompts.)
*clicky-click the banner at the very top for Mama Kat's Writer's workshop

No matter how much I threaten them

If you have a zit on your face
My kids will let you know.

If you have something in your teeth
My kids will let you know.

If you need to wipe/blow your nose
that's right . . .
My kids will let you know.

Yep, we teach honesty around here.
AND
WELL
Maybe they are just a tad bit TOO HONEST.

Kids can be embarrassing.
Just sayin'



which reminds me of a situation that they put me through sometime last year

For those of you that do not know, I watch a couple of children every week.
Uh, yes....
I.AM.CRAZY!
There's a total of 5 children @ my home everyday.

Anyhoo
I had received a call from some sort of childcare coordinator one day.
(no clue how she found me but she did)

She was all "Blah Blah Blah." "Blahhhhh Blah & Blah." and then she said "You will get some free toys and items to help w/your in-home daycare if you allow me to come and meet with you."
Me: "Yeah, come on."
(still having no clue what she was coming for or what she was about.)
Hey! She mentioned FREE STUFF and Y'all know how I am about FREE STUFF.
sort-of.kind-of.greedy

Long Story.....Short (Yeah.Right)
The lady came to the house.
BUT
Before she came I gave my children the run-down.
Ya know, stuff like:
DON'T EMBARRASS ME.
DON'T ASK THIS.
DON'T ASK THAT.
DON'T TOUCH THAT.
DON'T EMBARRASS ME.
JUST DON'T!
Don't Don't Don't!

The Tykes were all "Sure Mommy." (looking all sweet and deceiving)
The lady showed up and we started talking.
She wanted to sit back and "Watch Us" for awhile.
The first few mins went pretty good.
AND THEN IT STARTED.
LIL MAN decided to run up the stairs and then FALL down the stairs.
Yep, he tripped over his feet on the very top stair and didn't catch his balance again until the VERY last stair.
UH.HUH.
Oh, that's not all....
The BIG GIRL popped into the living room to let me know that she was "itchy". Being the sweet mother that I am, I looked at her and said "Oh Honey, it will be ok. Just don't scratch so much."
She then said :
"It's probably all THESE FLEAS we have in the house."
I.could.have.died.

FYI: We have never been infested w/fleas.
We have one cat (indoor cat that has never set foot outside.)
The fleas....actually mosquito bites after inspecting.

The childcare coordinator?
Well, she actually called me several times after that.
SHE WANTED TO COME BACK.
I had to tell her that I was not interested.
It killed me.
.....all that FREE STUFF down the drain because my kids are just THAT embarrassing.