hmm....I just don't know about all of this

So, I've been thinking . . .

hahaha SHUT UP!

I've been thinking about this whole "Christmas" thing. No, not about the TRUE MEANING. I know all about that (Happy Birthday Jesus!).
More about the Santa thing....the presents....the blah blah blah.
I don't know why.
But
This year....
Well, it's really taking a toll on me.
I've been so darn grinchy and I'm all "Bah-Humbug" and stuff.
Actually, I've been ANGRY.
I'm just sick of the commercialization.
I'm tired of worrying about HOW MANY gifts the kids will be getting.
Does one kid have more than the other . . .
Did we spend more on one than the other . . .
What about grandma?
I don't wanna get her some cheap gift again.
BUT
WELL
We're always broke around the holidays.
And I know that our BROKE is not SOMEONE ELSE'S BROKE and that makes me feel guilty.
It makes me feel sad.
*
*

**UGH and I had to pause right there to CRY.**

I'm also tired of being so freaking emotional.

UGH!
Simmer down, already.
*
*

Anyway, my first point :
There are so many families out there that don't get ANYTHING at ALL for Christmas.
I want to do something.
BUT
It's the same thing every.single.year.

"We don't have the money."
or
"Next year, I am gonna do this and that and then some."

I'm tired of that.
Just tired.

I am making a pledge to turn this around by the time next Christmas gets here.
I want to help others.
No, I'm not gonna run out and adopt myself a "BIG MIKE" although I would really REALLY like to.
*Have you seen The Blind Side? GOT.TO.SEE.THAT.MOVIE. ahhhh!

But
I am gonna do something.
MARK MY WORDS.

NEXT
Santa

You know, that big guy in the red suit?
Ay Yi Yi...
It's getting confusing and annoying.
I mean, honestly.
I'm running out of excuses and cover-ups to tell the kids.

"Mommy, how can Santa be here, here and HERE at the same time?"
ummm...
"Mommy, I thought Santa's elves made all the toys. How come this one says TARGET?"
hmm....
"Mommy, the kid next door said Santa only brings them 2 presents."
"Why does he bring everyone else more?"
ohhhh....

and
so
on

Oh, I am not done.
The Elf on the Shelf

Yeah Yeah
Cute idea.

BUT

Try answering this one :
"Mommy, the kids next door and down the street have an elf."
"Why don't we have an elf?"

I can't just tell them the TRUTH...
Uh, momma's cheap.

Magic Snow
Reindeer Food
Reindeer Poop
Magical Elves
2 presents
8 presents

CONFUSING AS I DON'T KNOW WHAT...

One more thing:
I'm getting real tired of looking like the CHEAP-O on Christmas Eve.
Why does SANTA have to bring the GOOD stuff?

AND
Once again
I started this post with a purpose in mind.
I'm not sure if I get it now.
Maybe you will?


*Have you all see this in the stores? It's candy.
Now who on EARTH wants POOP candy?*

I don't pee in the shower!

:Gasp:

Who would turn me into Santa???
Who advised him that I needed to be on The Naughty List?

WHO ?

AS IF!

Check out this message he just sent me : (Click here)

I can understand the "needing to spend less time on twitter" thing.....
but
Peeing in the shower??

I NEVER pee in the shower.
(well, once....maybe twice)
PLUS I don't even take showers.
I'm more of a bath type of gal.

Devastated.
and out for revenge now

Dear Santa

So, yeah I was supposed to get this up yesterday for Mama Kat's Writers Workshop but I flaked and well.....DIDN'T.

IMA SLACKER or something like that.
But Hey Slackin' works for me and that's all good and stuff.

I thought I would send Santa my list via a blog post.
WHY?
Well, because me and Santa....
We are like THIS.

(Uh, and if you could see me right now then you would totally see my fingers crossed.)
Ya know.....as in LIKE THIS
Oh, you know what I mean.

Santa follows me on Twitter.
HE DOES.

I'm not lying.
(Santa would know anyway.)
I'm even on the "Good List".

*
*
*


It's me.....Linda aka trendytykes on twitter.
I just thought I would get a jumpstart on the list making this year since I know how busy you can get closer to the big day.
I want to thank you for putting me on the "GOOD" list this year.
psst....so glad that you let the small things slide this year.
Whew!
I was starting to worry a little.
I mean, YES the kids did survive after eating that Mac and Cheese that was outdated.
But I still felt bad.
Who knew noodles went bad??
& Hunky Hubby also forgave me for tearing that page out of his book.
(looks like you did too!)
Oh, and we can't forget about the time I made Lil Princess wear those shoes that were two sizes too small.
I did feel a teeny bit bad BUT I did tell her to sit down for the majority of the time she was in church.
Good news....
Her toes survived.
She forgot about the incident
and obviously you did too.

THANKS SANTA!!

There's only one thing that I want this year:

I want Paula Deen to follow me on twitter. That's all.
Heck, I don't even expect her to send me daily tweets. All I want is to see her name under my followers list.
I've been trying to get her attention but NOTHING so maybe you can help me??
I even BANNED HAM for her.
Please don't offer up a substitute either. I don't want any of the other food network stars following me. Nope No Way.
Don't even think about giving me anyone else.
*Between you and me, I don't even like some of them.

Sure, those Neely people are from my neck of woods but geesh, she tends to go a little OVERBOARD : meaning she tries too hard and she's not that funny.

Oh, and Ina Garten (YAWN) too fancy schmancy for me.

Bobby Flay??
He acts a little....
Well....
Ya know, Like his egg salad doesn't stink or something.

Nah.
No substitutes. I want Paula Deen.

Tell her that Dr. Pepper follows me on twitter.
I'm not real sure if it's the can or the bottle but either way IT'S DR FREAKING PEPPER!
That should make her wanna follow me, right?

Oh and YOU follow me.
Does it get any bigger than Santa Claus??
&
Darth Vader used to follow me.....
All that heavy breathing kind of freaked me out though.
I had to unfollow.

(hope he doesn't see this.)

Make my wish come true, Santa!

signed,
Linda

Psst.... Tell her I like butter.
A LOT

Psst....Psst....
If you can't make it happen (I'll blame Bobby Flay)
I just don't dig that dude.
Anyhoo, if you can't make it happen then I will take more bon bons.