One of those top ten lists . . .

Here's my Top Ten "Favorite Keyword Searches" of the week :
(I always get a giggle out of these.) 
~click to see what page they landed on~

10. Chesters Drawers / Chester Drawers
*It's actually Chest OF Drawers....if you're old. :snicker:

9. son has a large head
*Mine has the biggest so I feel your pain. I do. 

8. scared of bathroom airplanes
*Poop is a scary thing, man.

7. kids smell like onions
*Ah, that armpit smell.

6. my mommy is naked dot com
*I don't even know what to say.

5. abbreviation for toots
*There's an abbreviation for that? 

4. smelling my feet
*Just do that AWAY from me, ok?

3. rip is on line toot
*This one get's WAY TOO many hits. 
Or maybe I just talk about "toots" alot?

2. your toes are jacked up
*Please OH PLEASE....Keep them away from me!
I MEAN IT.

1. booty clapping rump shaker
*giggle*

Every time I do one of these posts someone asks me WHERE to get this info.
 Google Analytics
Statcounter
Get Clicky

There are others out there but these are the ones that I use.

Now, please excuse me because I need a few of these :

Is this time change kicking anyone else in the booty?
Talk about a RUMP SHAKER!

The post in which I may offend TONS of TOES

(My sweet nephew's toes....I can deal with these)

Ok, for anyone that knows me.....you know that this post is KILLING me to publish.
I actually kept going back and forth with myself over the issue.
A part of me feels icky just thinking about it but then again another part of me just can not shake it from my mind.
I have been doing this for a week now.
A WEEK, people!
:insert heebie jeebies here:
I am going to talk about F--------feet
:insert more heebie jeebies here:
Not just any feet though.
I am going to be bold.
I am going to be brave.
I am going to write about . . . .
"JACKED UP" feet
Jacked up as in "EWWW!"
Can you tell that I am not a foot person?
I mean I can deal with itty BITTY baby feet and even my cat's paws (well, unless she has been somewhere ummmm well.....NEVERMIND)
but I CAN NOT HANDLE ANY OTHER FEET
especially "JACKED UP" FEET!
Side note: I don't even know if JACKED UP is a real term. Just go with me on this one, OK?

Anyhoo, I was looking through someone's photos online.
There I was clicking, clicking, clicking UNTIL THAT ONE PICTURE popped up.
THAT ONE PICTURE THAT WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE.
THAT ONE PICTURE THAT IS TAUNTING ME AS I TYPE THIS.
The feet.
The feet in this picture were not really THAT JACKED UP.
Well, ok...
To me they were.
I mean they were properly painted and all.
No hammer toe or anything.
So what was wrong, you ask?
Ok, ya know how your big toe is just that ....uh, BIG and then all the other toes go down in size ending with the smallest one, the pinkie toe?
NOT THESE TOES!
The big toe was not so BIG against the other ones.
WAIT....
Let me see if I can find an example for you.

Oh, I found one.


See what I am talking about?
"Jacked up toes"
Now, I would never EVER make fun of anyone for this.
Of course, I will make fun of your toes though.
It's just NOT right.
Oh, I know for sure.
I mean I read it somewhere.....
When God made the toes he said "And THOU Big Toe shall always be bigger than the rest."
Oh, I know I read that somewhere.
I did.
WHAT?

uhhhh
WAIT!
Don't go.
I won't make fun of your toes again.
at least not in post form

Post update @ 7:56pm : I was sitting here viewing my blog and the kids were (OF COURSE) looking over my shoulder. They said "WHOSE FEET are THOSE?"
I had to laugh.
Big Girl replied "Take a picture of my feet"
&
Lil Man was trying to get the Princess to smell his feet.

PURE JOY!
pure joy, I tell ya.