'cuz I am the Cat's Meow

Dearest humans,
I have decided to hijack my owner's blog.
That's right, I grabbed the big black thing that my owner likes to tap on.
I proceeded to the bathroom and now I am sitting on the toilet NOT USING IT.
(I don't get humans but this is what my owner does so I can only assume this is what you are supposed to do.)
Oh, wait.
I have to go lock the door so the little humans can bang on it saying "LET ME IN!"
side note observation- How many humans does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Because there are 5 in this house and the toilet paper holder is still empty.
Ok, I think I am ready.....
My name?
Well, that's not really important is it?
I mean seriously do you think I would tell you my name so that some lunatic could come and kidnap me?

instead, I will give you a photo
Ok, that was a little scary.
I know that I am beautiful and all but when I went into my owner's folder to grab a recent pic, THERE WERE WAY MORE PICS OF ME THAN ANY HUMAN SHOULD HAVE.
just between you and me.....I think she has issues!
*
Like I was saying, I have hijacked the blog.
PLEASE SOMEONE COME AND SAVE ME!
My owner has gone bonkers.
She hasn't been eating her bon bons.
She hasn't been watching her soaps.
She hasn't been getting dressed.
Her hair is a mess.
(Oh wait, it's always that way.)
There are all kinds of books just sitting around and she's been READING.
She's been reading books with NO PICTURES.
:Gasp:
I keep hearing something about "School Work".
&
If I know anything about my owner.....
I know whatever this "School Work" is, WELL....
It's got to be killing her.
It's WORK afterall.
My owner doesn't do "WORK" very well.

Can someone help a cat out?

All of this work is making her too busy for me.
Also, these little humans being around me all the time is REALLY starting to grate on my nerves.
A cat must have her privacy, ya know?

UH.OH.
I better get off of here.
I think I hear my owner.
She mumbled something about being "SO DONE" for the day.
One of the little humans must have done something.
OOOOH.....
I know they did now.
She just told them that "Mommy was off for the night" and to "Leave a message after the beep"
----gotta go