Jun 22, 2009

:Gasp: I "WAS" a Kate

Kate as in Well, you know who I am referring to.....
the unpleasant one
The one that yells at her husband, is often annoyed with her children and is just downright nasty? The one that ooozes sarcasm when speaking to her family but ooozes WARM & FUZZIES when dealing with anyone else.

Yes, I was a KATE.
(Except I have cuter hair! Just sayin')
However, it honestly did not even click with me until hearing my husband tell me how pleasant I had been for the past week.
The other day when my son asked why I was being so nice.
(That one really hit me in the gut)
*More like BOING. . . BOING. . . BLUBBER*

You see, I have always been one of those "controlling" types.
I had to be in control.
However, the control issue is slowly but surely dwindling down.
Bit by Bit
I am starting to let go and allow GOD to contol me instead of ME controlling ME.
Ya know what?
It's not that bad at all!
Most of you know by now that I have three wonderful kiddos that try my patience on a daily basis.
*One of them is doing that RIGHT.THIS.MINUTE.*
I have been pulling my hair out for years now.
I had told myself and others that I was NOT having anymore kids.
nope....never....no way....not gonna happen
Oh Boy, Have I told people that!
I was in control of the situation too.
And Obviously controlling that situation was harming me in more ways than one.
Ya see, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and heart issues a few months ago.
I had to be put on meds and everything.
Which comes to my next issue . . .
It was either my health of that little teeny tiny "control" that I took daily.
I knew it was coming.
I was scrambling.
I was worrying.
The more I worried, The more I prayed until one day it just "clicked".
It was like a switch went off.
I suddenly gained a little more patience.
I gained a little more happiness.
WOW, was this my sanity coming back.
Was it that itty bitty "control" factor that was making me this unpleasant to be around?

I would love to say YES and blame it on that but I know deep inside that it was also ME.

Ok, if you have made it this far then I just want you to know that I feel GREAT. I don't lose my temper as often as I did. I haven't been letting the little things bother me.
I am enjoying being ME again and enjoying my WONDERFUL and PATIENT husband and children.
I am letting GOD take back control.
Well, actually he has always been in control but I always tried to block him.


Will the "H" family be expanding?
Who knows?
But I do know one thing.....
If it's meant to be then it will be.
No worries on my end.
Gosh, I still can not believe I just said that!

This probably makes little to no sense to many of you. I just had to type it out though.

And speaking of "KATE".
I must know . . .
Will you be watching for the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT TONIGHT?
Oops did I just roll my eyes?
If they announce a seperation, Will you still watch?
I have already said it but I will say it again :

Big shout out to Kisses of Sunshine for posting this post. You really got me to thinking and well, that is why I refer to my OLD self as a KATE! As soon as I read your description of Kate, I immediately yelled out "OH NO! I was a Kate.!"

~Ok back to our regularly scheduled program~


Anonymous said...

ya think control issues come with being a mom. cause I have a few of those myself.

Stacie on June 22, 2009 at 5:07 PM said...

When the show first started my husband used to joke that I reminded him of Kate. In the beginning I thought that was kind of funny, because I could truly see some of her habits in myself.

However, as the show continued I was mortified at some of the things she said/did to her husband and children. I asked my husband not too long ago if I still reminded him of Kate - thankfully he said 'no'. {I hope he meant that.}

Being the first born daughter I think I've always been a little Mommy - so I think some of my controlling behaviors only come naturally.

Either way - don't be too hard on yourself. It grabs ahold of the best of us.

Carrie on June 22, 2009 at 6:18 PM said...

I used to watch this show the first two seasons, and it was very much a wake-up call for me as well. When I'm not paying attention to my words, I tend to be mean to my husband and not treat him with the respect he deserves. And I'm a huge control freak as well! I try to pay way more attention to my words and actions now, and pray for more self control.

Hope that your medical condition improves and that you're feeling well!

Felicia on June 22, 2009 at 11:15 PM said...

Yes, I know what you mean about letting God take control... complete control!

I am on a trip with our youth group so I didn't get to see the big announcement, but sadly, my husband just told me when I called to check in.

GiBee on June 23, 2009 at 12:02 PM said...

What an excellent post! Thank you so much for being so honest and open. You're not the only one with these issues.

Now that you put it on your blog -- the enemy is gonna start throwing darts at you! Hold strong, friend! Hold strong!

I didn't see the big announcement, but it has been all over the news today, and it saddens me, because I know it is just breaking God's heart... along with 8 other tiny little hearts, too.

GiBee on June 23, 2009 at 12:02 PM said...

p.s. -- Thanks for the link love!

Alesha @ Full Time Mama on June 23, 2009 at 3:48 PM said...

Wow, letting go of control is tough, huh?! I still struggle, but man, it is freeing too! Good for you!
Hope the health issues improve.
And wait, does this mean you're trying for another?? Yes, that part I'm confused about. That would be so cool!

Keisha on June 25, 2009 at 9:53 AM said...

Well said Girl!!! Sometimes.. we mommies do want to control Everything and every detail. We forgot who's really in charge! Thanks for opening our eyes to these nasty controlling issues!!

Unknown on June 26, 2009 at 10:09 AM said...

I don't watch the show, get enough of her in the news. I am also a Kate, it is very hard to let that personality go.....

Great story.

Lauren on June 26, 2009 at 3:25 PM said...

So glad you're a "Was" and not an "Is." It's hard to let others do things when they aren't doing it right;) I read an article before I became a mom that said not to criticize how your husband changes the babies diapers and I was thinking "Heck! He can change all the diapers he wants and all I will do is say THANK YOU!"

Kelly on July 9, 2009 at 2:59 PM said...

I like being in control too but I know it irritates my husband. And when I see other people being controlling it bother me and I can understand why it bothers my husband. I'm working on it


My Trendy Tykes Copyright © 2010 Designed by Ipietoon Blogger Template Sponsored by Emocutez