I've flipped my channel

Anyone catch Dancing with the Stars last night?

(insert blank stare here)

I'm glad that my kids were in another room when that chick was parading around on the dance floor in her bra and panties.

&
Why were all the ladies wearing sheets ?

 I'm still not diggin' Brooke Burke either.  

*click*

Poor Jack Bauer. He's has no luck when it comes to the ladies.

I never liked her anyway. 

*click*


Oh, look....

They're painting. Two oldies are painting together. So stinkin' sweet : ) OH WAIT...

TOO.MANY.PAINT.FUMES.

WHAT?

NOW?

because ya just never know when the mood will hit

MY EYES!!!!

I guess there will be a lot of painting in my future.

*You can call me granny goodtimes too!

hmmm...

I also have to get a couple of bathtubs.
Yes, a couple of bathtubs will be needed.
I'm going to place them out there in the backyard. 

Ya know, so we can lay there naked and stare off in space like all other old people do.

Yep,That's what you do when you get old.

It says so on the commercial.

I just hope no one sneaks up behind us.

Well, hold the phone...

That is, if I actually make it to that point.

With all these crazy side effects and meds these days.

Sure thing....

exploding "bowel movements", flesh eating bacteria, the urge to knaw your arm off on contact...

I can handle those!

Just take care of my pesky allergies.

The rest I will deal with.

What?

I'll lose a couple of toes and my eye will be out of whack?

That's ok.

I can hang.

Just tend to my high cholesterol.

*click*

SHAM WOW!
I still kind.of. want one of those. 

And there ya have it ladies and gents....
My random thoughts aka Mumbo Jumbo for the day (AS SEEN ON TV EDITION).


Hey!
Don't mute me.

It's me again...

I won't even begin to apologize for being a bad blogger.

Nah, you come....You see....

I don't post. You leave.

I'm kind of like the lady that runs and hides in another room when UPS shows up only to pounce on the package as soon as he has cleared the driveway.

Oh wait....

I AM THAT LADY!

now you see me...
now ya don't!

I'd tell you that it (I) would get better but hmmm I'm bound to keep losing my mojo.

Heck, maybe I never had it to begin with?

Anyhoo, tell me something.

Tell me anything!

What have you been up to?

Let's see...

On April Fools Day, we discovered that our attic was infested with red wasps.

Yep

Hubby is allergic to them.

We had to shell out $90 for some dude to come and spray them DEAD.

The pollen has arrived.

It's driving my poor Hunky Hubby nuts.

We visited with my parents on Good Friday. We hunted a few eggs and got our grub on.

(I hope that means eating....heard someone say it once and found it amusing but it could mean something totally different.)

My sister was there with her lil one too. 

I told her to bring him outside with an egg so we could snap some pics.

Of course, I didn't specify plastic or real & DYED egg . . .

She brought a dyed one.



And after... 5 maybe 6 pics? We wondered "Is this safe?"

So, we took the egg away and he ate dirt instead. 

(Hey! God made dirt and dirt won't hurt....unless...Oh nevermind. He is fine.)

Silly sister, Don't you know that first born babies are not supposed to eat dirt or slather blue dye all over their clothes?
You save all of that for the 3rd one.

Look! See this tulip?

It's the only tulip in my mom's yard. They planted 20. Go figure.

I took a pic.

Then my mom shoved a plastic egg in it.

I was worried for her only tulip.

Then I took a pic.

Remember when I told you about our first easter w/o the Easter Bunny?

In the post below this one

Well, I thought it went over pretty well.

The next day....The princess asked me if the bunny was coming.

Yeahhhh

Hunky Hubby bought them some chocolate bunnies on Clearance.

Cheap chocolate tastes the same as full price chocolate too!

I ate way too many peeps, peanut butter eggs and JUNK.

I got sick.

Just between you and me...

I think they put poison in them.

The one called F-A-T.

~in other news~

The cat found a lizard.

and

WE are starting on the garden. We as in HE (hunky hubby) and garden as in (tomatoes only).

Check out that arm.

Is it getting HAWT in here?

My thoughts are now your thoughts

I'm craving a Nathan's hotdog like no one's business.

I've been craving a Nathan's hotdog for a week now.

You would think if one were craving something THIS BADLY then surely it would have been added to the grocery list over the weekend, right?

Yeahhh.....NO!

THIS IS TORTURE.

There's a stray beagle/mutt dog running around the neighborhood. She is in heat. The two male dogs are fighting over her. It's quite interesting to watch. (Not the baw chicka waw waw part, they know better than to do that in front of me.) It's just interesting watching how each dog reacts around her. It's like watching humans "date".

I'm not weird.

Maybe I just need to get out more?

Ok, perhaps I am weird.

It's still interesting.

I tried to watch Dancing with the Stars last night.

I was horrified to say the least.

Brooke Burke as a host? uhhhhh...

That was like watching paint dry.

Kate Gosselin looked terrified.

&

Pamela Anderson?

I have no words.

3 different people searched for BIG STRAWS yesterday and landed on my blog.

(hehe SORRY!)

Ok, this pedigree commercial makes me giggle:

He's not just a GOOD pooper but an optimum one!

which leads me to my next "thought"

See that?

It's probably one of the best darn packages UPS has ever delivered to my house.

I blogged for that.

UH HUH

I did.

I have no shame.

I've already told ya that I would sell out for 3 things :

toilet paper

brownies

&

aspirin

A mommy blogger's got to do what a mommy blogger's got to do.

MUMBO JUMBO

Why do my fingers smell like onion?
I guess it's better than my armpits smelling like one.

Why do Dora's parents let her roam the streets alone?
Do they not watch the news??
Oh, wait....she does have a monkey with her.
I guess it's ok then.

I bet Gerald stinks. (Sid the Science Kid)
He just looks like "the stinky kid".
I am also willing to bet that he has a snotty nose a lot.

can't.quit.sniffing.my.fingers.

My feet are always cold.
They still don't stink though.

The princess likes to put her foot in brother's face and say:
"Smell it...Smell it....TAKE IT...TAKE IT".

She says that's her SPECIAL MOVE.

It makes me laugh.
It makes hunky hubby roll his eyes.

My cat only drinks water from the toilet.
NEVER in her bowl
Is that odd?

Sometimes I feel as if I am talking like Charlie Brown's momma.

Why do my kids look at me like THAT?

WHAT?

ugh....WHATEVER!

I like to dance.
I sometimes make up my own moves.
The princess is the only one that will dance with me.
Ok, I take that back....
Lil Man can groove on demand also.
We call it "shaking our stinky tails".
It's not so clever looking when I type it out though.
It's kind of ODD.
Stinky Tails?
hmmm

Moving along . . .

flippin' onion smell will not go away

Do you think it's toxins coming through my skin?
Or whatever the "fancy term" is?

I've always wanted to be "cleansed".
Once, I thought about buying those sticky foot pads.
Ya know, the ones from the "AS SEEN ON TV" commercials?
Yeah those.
They were supposed to remove all kinds of toxins from your body.
I then saw a "DOES IT REALLY WORK" segment on my local news and they said not to waste my money.
So I didn't.

I love my Dyson.
Have I mentioned that before?
I enjoy looking at all the junk it sucks up.
I tend to suck up everything in sight.
NOT.EVEN.KIDDING.
One day I sucked up a sock.
Another day I sucked up some Littlest Pet Shop toys.
I almost sucked up Big Girl's toe one time.
You should see my kids run around when I turn that thing on!
Funny Stuff.

The kids asked me what was for dinner.
I replied: I dunno, what are you making?

They always give me the strangest looks.

The Princess asks me all the time "When will lunch be ready?"
I reply : "When it's ready."
I give her the SAME EXACT REPLY every day yet she still asks the question.
I don't get it.

I'm still curious as to why SPEIDI would follow me on twitter.
(yeah, both of them now)
I'm trying to think....
Have I ever dissed them?
I don't think I have.
Conan has.
Ok, half of the country has.
Maybe I should start dissing them?
I could start a twitter war or something.
Muahahahahaha

I've never heard Heidi Montag sing.

I just found out who Justin Bieber is.
Not my cup of tea but then again, I'm not 9.

I used to love New Kids on The Block.
(Danny, Donnie, Joe, Jon and Jordan)
that's all of their names in abc order

This onion smell is driving me insane.
Maybe it's my nose?

Whatever it is...
It's wiggity wack!