I ran away...

for all of 3 hours

Yep, Yep I did.

Clicky Click right HERE to see some how I spent my day (or hours).

It may or may not involve touching a bush's rear end.

Just sayin'

I'm begging her to whine . . .

I've been searching online for a USED copy of the "Parenting Manual/Handbook".
Ya know, the one I was talking about here?
I haven't found one yet.
Geesh, I guess I'll just have to have another kid in order to get a NEW one.
:shrugging shoulders:

Anyhoo....
I am still working on the attitude.
BUT
Now I have another issue.
One that's probably more annoying than the whole attitude problem.

WHINING



Whining grates on my last nerve.
Ok, let me rephrase that . . .
Whining grates on my 2,006th last nerve.
uh yeah
because
That "last" nerve......well it was grated on many moons ago.

I think I can nip the whining in the bud though.
Starting today, if you whine in the "H" house . . . .
You get a chore.
Whine once, you get one chore.
Whine 5 times . . . You get 5 chores.

I'm almost begging someone to whine.
BRING IT BABY!
I have lots and LOTS of work that needs to be done.

UH HUH
Where's my bon bons?
Turn the soaps on.
CUZ
This momma is about to CHILL-LAX while the kids do my dirty work.

B-RING IT!

Yeah, you rock my roll...uh huh

Comments make me happy : )
I thought I would highlight some of my favorites from this past week.
Check 'em out
Click the links
&
Stalk a new blog or two


Amanda of Confessions from HouseholdSix said...

I love stream of conscious blog posts. Nice to know I'm not the only person who thinks out loud.

I attribute it to the lack of memory after having kids. If I say it out loud, someone's bound to hear and remember for me, right?

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Alesha from The Jacobsen Family said...

Never let an animal win...

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WhisperingWriter said...

I am a huge fan of bacon..

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Gena said...

I totally need that! PS. I told my kids that I'll take them to the cops and they can tell me who licked the icing off the cake!

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Amber Page Writes said...

Spit. Yeah, I hear ya. I also said I'd never sniff my kid's butt to see if her diaper was dirty.

I lied.

Great post!

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psssssst...

You could be featured next week.

Leave me a comment, ya dig?

HINT HINT!

(MUTE) WHAT?? I can't hear you.

Ti-faux (not tivo but the Dish Network version)
Ya know, the fake Tivo?

LOVE IT.

Can't live with out it.

Wouldn't it be cool if humans had features like that?


Fast Forward, maybe?
Yeah
Because Sometimes (Ok all of the time) Big girl spews too many details when she is telling me something.
Like....
"Momma, You know that dog (the one down the street, the black one not the brown one)?"
"Well, he just got in the neighbors (the neighbor that lives across from the man....not the tall skinny man but the round old man) garbage can."
"There are cans (looks like green giant green beans but it could be corn, I am not sure) everywhere."
"Should I go over there and help them pick it up? (Well, not all of it. Just the stuff that will not get on my hands. I don't wanna touch anything gross because I just put lotion on my hands.)
Ya know, the lotion that was in the bathroom cabinet? Not the small bathroom but the other one."

Fast Forward...JUST GET TO THE POINT
in other words: SPIT IT OUT!

A rewind button would come in handy too.
Ya know, to find out WHO REALLY licked that icing off of the cake.
Cuz no one wants to fess up any other way.
Yep, I am still ill over that one.
IT WAS MY CAKE.
GRRR

PAUSE would be good too.
I could finally get my TIME OUT without making my children leave a message after the BEEEEP!
Uh huh, I do that.
When I have had it for the day.....You will get this lil message:
MOMMY IS DONE FOR THE DAY.
PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEEEEEEEP.
DONE as in D-----ONE!

MUTE, Need I say more?
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blahhh blah blah
(mute)






What? I can't hear you.
You have been muted.

.....Dreaming
Oh, and I can almost guarantee that this remote would NEVER be lost. I would tie it around my neck if needed.
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Speaking of fast forwarding:
Does anyone else fast forward through the dying scenes(tv shows)?
Ya know, the ones that take for-ever??
A cough here
A cough there
One last goodbye
Oh, now a vision
Uh-oh here come the bright lights.
NO COME BACK
NO GO.
Another cough.
NOOOOOO
Fast forward....
:Geesh:
Die already.

Am I the only one to do this??
Please tell me I am not.
Should I be ashamed?

With lips like these.....I couldn't resist

I can't help myself.

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Y'all know I can't.
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I have to do this.
Because
Honestly?
If I don't make fun of you . . .
then who will?
hmm
That did not sound right.
UH
What I meant to say is....
You are amongst friends.
I mean, I can make fun of you but no one else better think about it.
OR
I will pull pages out of their reading books.
OR
Something MUCH MUCH WORSE
I will tie them up in a chair and make them watch me eat the LAST BON BON in the package.
YEP!
I will.

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Today I will be discussing
the POUTY FACE, THE SMOOCHY LIPS, THE PUCKER-ROO . . .
errr
Whatever you call it.
It seems to be all over the place.
In facebook profiles
twitter pics
blog posts
Heck, I am surprised the TODAY SHOW hasn't included a "How to PUCKER UP" series on their 4 hour long snooze fest.



What's with this, people?

Is the "Smoochy" face really some sort of secret code?
Does the "PUCKER ROO" make your nose appear smaller?

I decided to do a little research.....
My conclusions:

Eh, not many.

But I did walk away with good "profile" pics.
WHAT DO YOU THINK??

Here's my "WHATCHA TALKIN' BOUT Willis" face :



And the "Wanda gon' rock yo world" face:

"Heeeeeyyyyy"
(Please tell me that someone remembers Wanda!)


And my . . .
Uh
Well
not real sure about this one


Ok, in CONCLUSION to the CONCLUSIONS . . .
It still looks crazy.

BUT
Pucker Up, Y'all!