Oct 23, 2009

(MUTE) WHAT?? I can't hear you.


Ti-faux (not tivo but the Dish Network version)
Ya know, the fake Tivo?

LOVE IT.

Can't live with out it.

Wouldn't it be cool if humans had features like that?


Fast Forward, maybe?
Yeah
Because Sometimes (Ok all of the time) Big girl spews too many details when she is telling me something.
Like....
"Momma, You know that dog (the one down the street, the black one not the brown one)?"
"Well, he just got in the neighbors (the neighbor that lives across from the man....not the tall skinny man but the round old man) garbage can."
"There are cans (looks like green giant green beans but it could be corn, I am not sure) everywhere."
"Should I go over there and help them pick it up? (Well, not all of it. Just the stuff that will not get on my hands. I don't wanna touch anything gross because I just put lotion on my hands.)
Ya know, the lotion that was in the bathroom cabinet? Not the small bathroom but the other one."


Fast Forward...JUST GET TO THE POINT
in other words: SPIT IT OUT!

A rewind button would come in handy too.
Ya know, to find out WHO REALLY licked that icing off of the cake.
Cuz no one wants to fess up any other way.
Yep, I am still ill over that one.
IT WAS MY CAKE.
GRRR

PAUSE would be good too.
I could finally get my TIME OUT without making my children leave a message after the BEEEEP!
Uh huh, I do that.
When I have had it for the day.....You will get this lil message:
MOMMY IS DONE FOR THE DAY.
PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEEEEEEEP.
DONE as in D-----ONE!

MUTE, Need I say more?
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
blahhh blah blah
(mute)






What? I can't hear you.
You have been muted.

.....Dreaming
Oh, and I can almost guarantee that this remote would NEVER be lost. I would tie it around my neck if needed.
*
*
*
Speaking of fast forwarding:
Does anyone else fast forward through the dying scenes(tv shows)?
Ya know, the ones that take for-ever??
A cough here
A cough there
One last goodbye
Oh, now a vision
Uh-oh here come the bright lights.
NO COME BACK
NO GO.
Another cough.
NOOOOOO
Fast forward....
:Geesh:
Die already.


Am I the only one to do this??
Please tell me I am not.
Should I be ashamed?

9 comments:

Gena on October 23, 2009 at 6:45 PM said...

LMAO I totally need that! PS I told my kids that I'll take them to the cops and they can tell me who licked the icing off the cake!

Amanda on October 23, 2009 at 7:09 PM said...

I LOVE watching some shows on On Demand for just that reason. And I agree, they need those features for some people. A mute button for my 8yo would be nice for those days where he blabs from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed.

Tiaras on October 23, 2009 at 11:48 PM said...

haha - that is why we have 5 different remotes that work on all the tvs!!!!!

The Jacobsen Family! on October 23, 2009 at 11:53 PM said...

I LOVE the mute idea... And I think I may start making my kids leave a message... Great idea!

WhisperingWriter on October 24, 2009 at 12:06 AM said...

I would LOVE a mute button.

I think my husband would use it on me too when I was nagging..

Molly Lou Gifts on October 24, 2009 at 7:17 AM said...

You could be a bazillionaire if you had this. It is so fabulous and something I long for daily. The mute button would be my bff and the fast forward button. There are also a few moments that I would like to rewind too...obviously to find the culprit in many instances, but also those few moments when my children are playing nicely together or they are sleeping angels. Granted, that button wouldn't be used much, but still nice to have.

Gabrielle on October 24, 2009 at 11:11 AM said...

Happy SITS Saturday! Love that post, so funny! And... I would definitely like to get a remote like that!

Nikki on October 24, 2009 at 11:21 AM said...

Stopping by from SITS to say hi!

I sometimes want things to move faster so that it will be a time when all the bills will be paid, etc, but then I think I'll have missed so much! There is a great movie about a guy who uses a remote control to rewind, fast forward and mute his life, its called "Click" with Adam Sandler. I think you'd like it!

kasandria on October 25, 2009 at 1:12 PM said...

I would do almost anything for a remote like that! I have fake Tivo too. Dish Network version and I seriously doubt I could go back to regular TV without it.
Kasandria

 

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